Other People's Opinions

Strange how we get caught up in other people's opinions of us. We might say "I don't give a fuck about what you think about me," but in all honesty, it still hurts our feelings when we discover someone we wanted to like isn't likeable, or doesn't like us.

Learning how not to be the person everyone wants you to be is one of the hardest things in Tantra. We spend our whole life listening to people tell us who to be...and we never stop to ask "Who do I want to be?" (We are asked "What" but not "Who.") Do you want to be that over acheiver? Do you want to be the go-to person? Do you want to be the lazy bum in the corner? The dude on the offramp? The waitress at the diner? Who do you wanna be?

You were not put on this planet to perform in someone else's scripts; quite the contrary! We all have our own scripts to perform. If I expect you to perform in my script my way, and you do it your way instead, why should I get angry? It's my expectations, not your performance, that is the problem.

We want to trust people. We want to be friendly and giving and kind. We want to show that we care. This is where con-men make their living. They know that people have weak spots in "caring," and they tend to exploit that. But if you trust a con-man, and you have expectations that he's not going to screw you over, then the problem is your expectations, not the con-man.

Right/wrong, good/bad, moral/immoral...none of it means shit. There are different ways to do things, some are effective, some are not. Some are appropriate, some are not. Washing your laundry in tne middle of the street is not wrong, just ineffective. Cussing in front of grandma is not wrong, just inappropriate.

Doesn't fruit go "bad?" (It grabs a handgun and holds up the local liquor store, right?) It rots and ferments and becomes inedible...but it's perfectly suited to do so, and nature designed it to become compost at some point...so it's just doing it's thing.

Know this: Good and bad do not exist outside your mind.

And your opinion of me, good or bad, does not exist outside your mind.