When someone is listening to you, what happens to your emotions?
Listening is the one thing that anyone can do at anytime that will not piss anyone off. Listening is the one thing that anyone can do no matter how ill, broken, or physically handicapped (with the one exception of physical deafness...and even they 'listen' when others speak their language). Listening is the one thing that we desire most in friendships and love relationships. Listening is one thing that 90% of people suck at, and nobody wants to admit that.
Think about the times that you knew you were not being heard--do you ever want to make someone else feel like that? But I bet you have and you do and you will...unless you begin to pay attention to where your attention is when you are supposed to be listening.
Check it out: When you are having a conversation with someone, are you listening to what they are saying, or are you thinking about what you will say next? Do you let them finish their sentences, or do you interrupt? Do you look at them, or do you allow your eyes to wander off? (Even in cultures where eye contact is not courteous, there's a perceptible inward lean when someone is listening).
If you are in an audience, and someone is addressing the crowd, do you keep your focus on that person, or do you find yourself drawn away by the interesting behavior of the crowd? Do you find yourself daydreaming, mentally criticizing the information being presented, or making notice of the speaker's appearance? (Someone spent time and energy, perhaps even pre-writing presentations or gaining a special skill, to earn the chance to address this crowd, right?)
If you are not listening to whoever is talking, it doesn't matter what they are saying, your response is the same: that person, and what they have to say, is not important.
Think about that-- "You are not important."
We say more with our body language and behavior than our words can ever portray. When you listen to someone, and they see that you are listening, they will open up even more. You will get more information. Your questions will be answered, your concerns addressed, if you are just patient enough to what is being said. You don't HAVE to say anything with your mouth, if your behavior says what you want it to say.
If you are listening, you know when it is your turn to talk, and when the other person will be open to hearing your ideas. You can insist that you be allowed to finish your point, but only if you have allowed the other person to do so first.
Listening is a skill. It is more than just hearing the words; intonation and inflection are very important as well. Raised pitch can tell you how upset someone is. Lowered pitch can tell you how serious. (Tip to Tantra students: Check your voice pitch against your chakra behavior during times of high energy/emotion...another fun experiment.)
If you can't train yourself to listen, then try peppering your responses with a few of these:
"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. Go on."
"So you were saying something...?"
"I have a great idea...don't let me forget, but finish what you were saying."
"Hey, something else is drawing my attention...can we finish this later?"
You'll catch yourself more and more...and eventually find you are communicating better and better.
Have a great new gregorian calendar year, everyone...:-)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Expansion on Energy Exchange theory - Why do people love?
Energy exchange theory, which I outlined in the back of my book (but as a nameless concept), is a set of ideas based in Vedic literature and married to the modern sciences. Energy Exchange theory posits that people create various interpersonal connections by exchanging energies to varying degrees. These energy exchanges create the environment in which our personalities, goals, and fears play out. Understanding the dynamics of energy exchange allows one to gain control of social connections, working in our own environment to meet our own needs without hampering the needs of others.
People who are "in love" with one another have the largest, most intense connections for energy exchanges. The MRI scans of brains from people who are in love (and thinking about their lover) show more intense frontal lobe and mid-brain activity than people who are not currently in a hot connection.
Humans crave energy. We like high-calorie foods, we prefer sunlight over darkness, we're more comfortable on the ground than in trees or in the air. We have recreational sex. We are social creatures, gathering energy from our fellow humans. On the far end of the negative scale, people take advantage of weaker people for the greater energy gain. If I control you, I get your food, money, attention, etc. On the far positive end are people who are altruistic and philanthropic, giving away their time, money, and other forms of energy.
Because we crave energy and we are constantly putting it out, we gather in groups. We sometimes land in groups we like, which boosts our energy input, but most often we land in groups that have some sort of energy tug-of-war going on. There's not enough positive energy to go around.
Positive energy vs. Negative energy: It's not a judgment call--it's a mathematical factor. Positive energy is energy that is additional, as in positive numbers are added. Negative energy is energy that subtracts. People who are sick or injured are negative energy centers, but that's not a bad thing--it just means they need more than most.
Humans fall in love because it is a source of creative, positive energy. Love brings with it a whole host of hormonal and brain changes, but it also brings with it the ability for humans to become energy dynamos. Once we start spinning, we keep going, building and building energy until we explode...this could be a physical orgasm, or it could be a new project idea, a plan to do something positive. Something that would be like...giving birth.
More later...
S
People who are "in love" with one another have the largest, most intense connections for energy exchanges. The MRI scans of brains from people who are in love (and thinking about their lover) show more intense frontal lobe and mid-brain activity than people who are not currently in a hot connection.
Humans crave energy. We like high-calorie foods, we prefer sunlight over darkness, we're more comfortable on the ground than in trees or in the air. We have recreational sex. We are social creatures, gathering energy from our fellow humans. On the far end of the negative scale, people take advantage of weaker people for the greater energy gain. If I control you, I get your food, money, attention, etc. On the far positive end are people who are altruistic and philanthropic, giving away their time, money, and other forms of energy.
Because we crave energy and we are constantly putting it out, we gather in groups. We sometimes land in groups we like, which boosts our energy input, but most often we land in groups that have some sort of energy tug-of-war going on. There's not enough positive energy to go around.
Positive energy vs. Negative energy: It's not a judgment call--it's a mathematical factor. Positive energy is energy that is additional, as in positive numbers are added. Negative energy is energy that subtracts. People who are sick or injured are negative energy centers, but that's not a bad thing--it just means they need more than most.
Humans fall in love because it is a source of creative, positive energy. Love brings with it a whole host of hormonal and brain changes, but it also brings with it the ability for humans to become energy dynamos. Once we start spinning, we keep going, building and building energy until we explode...this could be a physical orgasm, or it could be a new project idea, a plan to do something positive. Something that would be like...giving birth.
More later...
S
Monday, November 23, 2009
Connections
We tend to connect with those that we need to work with in this lifetime. After that work is accomplished, we tend to let those connections lapse. What would happen if we never let go of those links? We'd be totally exhausted trying to keep up with them all!
Many of my connections are morphing right now. I'm down to just a handful of those that matter, which is good in some ways, not so good in other ways. The support of extra energy is necessary under circumstances like tests, surgeries, and trials. The need to expend extra energy to keep those links is what is at issue, though. If I'm not getting back what I put into it, it's probably not the right place for me.
There are connections that should be cut but will not go away. These are the ones we must look at most critically; Why must we cut them? What happens if we don't? Is there a reason that it won't go away? What if I miss that reason and cut it away, then lose an opportunity to manifest something really cool? What if I'm being drained by this connection and it's not healthy?
There are connections that leave before we are ready to give them up. These are the ones that we must examine our own reaction to. Why did she leave me? becomes a rhetorical question, because when we know ourselves, we know when we fuck up. If my heart is broken for someone who has left this plane of existence, then I can roll around in that grief and tell myself I'm having a REAL human experience, examine how it affects me, learn about my own behavior and therefore how to cope with the lost connection.
Connections must morph. Networks do that. What good are isolated networks that never exchange members? They would not gain ground in artifacts or philosophy. Why not participate in cross-network exchanges? One can hang out with bikers, geeks, truckers, dancers, pagans, redneck deer hunters, hippie glass blowers, kinksters, psychologists, vendors, volunteers, and professors. And one can learn from all of them. Everyone has something important to say; sometimes you just can't wait around to hear it.
But connections can be enduring as well. Connections are what we fall back on when we're stressed and alone, needing human comfort. Connections let us know that our sibling-in-arms is alive and kickin' ass on some distant battlefield. Connections are what psychics divine upon.
Connections are the ear on the other end of our internal dialogue.
And let's hope someone is listening.
Many of my connections are morphing right now. I'm down to just a handful of those that matter, which is good in some ways, not so good in other ways. The support of extra energy is necessary under circumstances like tests, surgeries, and trials. The need to expend extra energy to keep those links is what is at issue, though. If I'm not getting back what I put into it, it's probably not the right place for me.
There are connections that should be cut but will not go away. These are the ones we must look at most critically; Why must we cut them? What happens if we don't? Is there a reason that it won't go away? What if I miss that reason and cut it away, then lose an opportunity to manifest something really cool? What if I'm being drained by this connection and it's not healthy?
There are connections that leave before we are ready to give them up. These are the ones that we must examine our own reaction to. Why did she leave me? becomes a rhetorical question, because when we know ourselves, we know when we fuck up. If my heart is broken for someone who has left this plane of existence, then I can roll around in that grief and tell myself I'm having a REAL human experience, examine how it affects me, learn about my own behavior and therefore how to cope with the lost connection.
Connections must morph. Networks do that. What good are isolated networks that never exchange members? They would not gain ground in artifacts or philosophy. Why not participate in cross-network exchanges? One can hang out with bikers, geeks, truckers, dancers, pagans, redneck deer hunters, hippie glass blowers, kinksters, psychologists, vendors, volunteers, and professors. And one can learn from all of them. Everyone has something important to say; sometimes you just can't wait around to hear it.
But connections can be enduring as well. Connections are what we fall back on when we're stressed and alone, needing human comfort. Connections let us know that our sibling-in-arms is alive and kickin' ass on some distant battlefield. Connections are what psychics divine upon.
Connections are the ear on the other end of our internal dialogue.
And let's hope someone is listening.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Other People's Opinions
Strange how we get caught up in other people's opinions of us. We might say "I don't give a fuck about what you think about me," but in all honesty, it still hurts our feelings when we discover someone we wanted to like isn't likeable, or doesn't like us.
Learning how not to be the person everyone wants you to be is one of the hardest things in Tantra. We spend our whole life listening to people tell us who to be...and we never stop to ask "Who do I want to be?" (We are asked "What" but not "Who.") Do you want to be that over acheiver? Do you want to be the go-to person? Do you want to be the lazy bum in the corner? The dude on the offramp? The waitress at the diner? Who do you wanna be?
You were not put on this planet to perform in someone else's scripts; quite the contrary! We all have our own scripts to perform. If I expect you to perform in my script my way, and you do it your way instead, why should I get angry? It's my expectations, not your performance, that is the problem.
We want to trust people. We want to be friendly and giving and kind. We want to show that we care. This is where con-men make their living. They know that people have weak spots in "caring," and they tend to exploit that. But if you trust a con-man, and you have expectations that he's not going to screw you over, then the problem is your expectations, not the con-man.
Right/wrong, good/bad, moral/immoral...none of it means shit. There are different ways to do things, some are effective, some are not. Some are appropriate, some are not. Washing your laundry in tne middle of the street is not wrong, just ineffective. Cussing in front of grandma is not wrong, just inappropriate.
Doesn't fruit go "bad?" (It grabs a handgun and holds up the local liquor store, right?) It rots and ferments and becomes inedible...but it's perfectly suited to do so, and nature designed it to become compost at some point...so it's just doing it's thing.
Know this: Good and bad do not exist outside your mind.
And your opinion of me, good or bad, does not exist outside your mind.
Learning how not to be the person everyone wants you to be is one of the hardest things in Tantra. We spend our whole life listening to people tell us who to be...and we never stop to ask "Who do I want to be?" (We are asked "What" but not "Who.") Do you want to be that over acheiver? Do you want to be the go-to person? Do you want to be the lazy bum in the corner? The dude on the offramp? The waitress at the diner? Who do you wanna be?
You were not put on this planet to perform in someone else's scripts; quite the contrary! We all have our own scripts to perform. If I expect you to perform in my script my way, and you do it your way instead, why should I get angry? It's my expectations, not your performance, that is the problem.
We want to trust people. We want to be friendly and giving and kind. We want to show that we care. This is where con-men make their living. They know that people have weak spots in "caring," and they tend to exploit that. But if you trust a con-man, and you have expectations that he's not going to screw you over, then the problem is your expectations, not the con-man.
Right/wrong, good/bad, moral/immoral...none of it means shit. There are different ways to do things, some are effective, some are not. Some are appropriate, some are not. Washing your laundry in tne middle of the street is not wrong, just ineffective. Cussing in front of grandma is not wrong, just inappropriate.
Doesn't fruit go "bad?" (It grabs a handgun and holds up the local liquor store, right?) It rots and ferments and becomes inedible...but it's perfectly suited to do so, and nature designed it to become compost at some point...so it's just doing it's thing.
Know this: Good and bad do not exist outside your mind.
And your opinion of me, good or bad, does not exist outside your mind.
Friday, October 23, 2009
The Magick of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a big deal for Christians. Apparently, their goal is to get God to forgive their sins, which enables them to enjoy the afterlife. The knowledge that they have been forgiven by their God seems to work some intense magick in their lives, enabling junkies to quit their drug, gamblers to turn from the tables, and families to accept prodigal sons.
As pagans and wiccans, we don't ask our Goddess for forgiveness; she don't count sins against us. However, sometimes human beings hurt each other, and to them we sometimes need to ask forgiveness. And sometimes, we are in the position to either forgive or not forgive some wrong done against us.
Forgiveness holds magick for pagans, as well. When someone has done us wrong, insulted us, taken something we earned, or otherwise dumped us in the dirt, our first inclination is to become hurt, which begins the flow of negative energy. That energy then goes out into the world, bringing more negativity into our Universe, which brings us down even more.
This vicious cycle of negativity does not stem from the action done to you, it stems from your reaction to that event. Let me make that perfectly clear: the original action that causes a dispute is not the source of the negativity that ensues, but the reaction to it is.
Basically, nobody wakes up in the morning saying "I'm going to mess you up." Even the meanest people in the world start their day saying "I'm going to get what is rightfully mine, even if I have to step on toes to do so." But they don't single you out. You're just a minor casualty in their flawed plan.
Most people wake up in the morning saying "I have stuff to do today," with no thought whatsoever about you. You are not intended as a victim; the intention is all about them.
So the negativity starts when you feel hurt by someone else's action. And then you begin to defend yourself in ways you believe are appropriate: distancing, denying, retaliation, and the game is on. Soon the negativity begins flowing both directions in a nasty little 'button pushing contest' and then the people involved become enemies.
We know that magick is about the intention behind it. We know that if someone's intent is to hurt us, the energy will eventually backfire and karma will kick in. So if their intention is just to get ahead, without thoughts about you, it makes just as much sense to start a war with them as it does to start a war with a hurricane.
But hurricanes still hurt us. It hurts when something or someone we care about is threatened or damaged. If you didn't care, it wouldn't hurt. So if you get hurt by someone's actions, give yourself credit for being a thinking, feeling, caring individual. And recognize that you have chosen to give-a-damn, therefore, you choose to hurt. As Osho says, great sensitivity also brings great suffering.
A common story involves a father with two small children on a train. The kids are bouncing all over the car, fighting and arguing with each other, causing a ruckus and driving the other passengers nuts. The dad is doing nothing to correct them. What would you think about that dad? But then, another passenger whispers that the family is returning from the funeral of the mother. Suddenly, the dad's behavior and the kid's behavior makes sense. The result is an instant forgiveness for the transgressions of the family, due to a new understanding.
Understanding the other person's motives is the beginning. Their motivations are always themselves, so that's easy. Were they in a hurry or distracted and missed something? Were they excited or frustrated and acting out? Did they forget about being compassionate toward others? Were they not aware of your expectations? If you think about it long enough, you'll understand their intentions, which is the seed of forgiveness.
A great meditation is to imagine there's an empty area in your heart, a cleaned-out window sill or a corner of the floor, where you can grow forgiveness. See a small pot full of healthy soil, and plant the seed of understanding; that is, plant the knowledge that they were only trying to get ahead, and stepped on your toes doing so.
Fertilize this little seed with your caring. Your sensitivity will take care of this little seed until it becomes a plant. Then water that plant with the tears that come from the hurt within you. Every time you think about the hurt, visualize the forgiveness plant being watered. Come back to it every day to see how it grows.
Eventually, when you see the forgiveness plant, it will give you the message that will help heal the hurt. If it is wilting from lack of light, then bring the hurtful issue "into the light." Talk to someone about it. If the forgiveness plant is growing like crazy and taking over the space, it's time to stop watering (crying over it) and take it outside for all to see. That means to make your forgiveness public. If you find you have no more tears to water it with, plant it outdoors so that you no longer have to care for it. And that means to let the whole issue go to the greater Universe.
Forgiving is magick for pagans in that we can release tied-up, wasted, negative energy and turn it into something truly positive for ourselves and for others. Don't let the opportunity to use forgiveness energy go to waste. The next time you have an opportunity to forgive, recover that energy and be forgiving.
As pagans and wiccans, we don't ask our Goddess for forgiveness; she don't count sins against us. However, sometimes human beings hurt each other, and to them we sometimes need to ask forgiveness. And sometimes, we are in the position to either forgive or not forgive some wrong done against us.
Forgiveness holds magick for pagans, as well. When someone has done us wrong, insulted us, taken something we earned, or otherwise dumped us in the dirt, our first inclination is to become hurt, which begins the flow of negative energy. That energy then goes out into the world, bringing more negativity into our Universe, which brings us down even more.
This vicious cycle of negativity does not stem from the action done to you, it stems from your reaction to that event. Let me make that perfectly clear: the original action that causes a dispute is not the source of the negativity that ensues, but the reaction to it is.
Basically, nobody wakes up in the morning saying "I'm going to mess you up." Even the meanest people in the world start their day saying "I'm going to get what is rightfully mine, even if I have to step on toes to do so." But they don't single you out. You're just a minor casualty in their flawed plan.
Most people wake up in the morning saying "I have stuff to do today," with no thought whatsoever about you. You are not intended as a victim; the intention is all about them.
So the negativity starts when you feel hurt by someone else's action. And then you begin to defend yourself in ways you believe are appropriate: distancing, denying, retaliation, and the game is on. Soon the negativity begins flowing both directions in a nasty little 'button pushing contest' and then the people involved become enemies.
We know that magick is about the intention behind it. We know that if someone's intent is to hurt us, the energy will eventually backfire and karma will kick in. So if their intention is just to get ahead, without thoughts about you, it makes just as much sense to start a war with them as it does to start a war with a hurricane.
But hurricanes still hurt us. It hurts when something or someone we care about is threatened or damaged. If you didn't care, it wouldn't hurt. So if you get hurt by someone's actions, give yourself credit for being a thinking, feeling, caring individual. And recognize that you have chosen to give-a-damn, therefore, you choose to hurt. As Osho says, great sensitivity also brings great suffering.
A common story involves a father with two small children on a train. The kids are bouncing all over the car, fighting and arguing with each other, causing a ruckus and driving the other passengers nuts. The dad is doing nothing to correct them. What would you think about that dad? But then, another passenger whispers that the family is returning from the funeral of the mother. Suddenly, the dad's behavior and the kid's behavior makes sense. The result is an instant forgiveness for the transgressions of the family, due to a new understanding.
Understanding the other person's motives is the beginning. Their motivations are always themselves, so that's easy. Were they in a hurry or distracted and missed something? Were they excited or frustrated and acting out? Did they forget about being compassionate toward others? Were they not aware of your expectations? If you think about it long enough, you'll understand their intentions, which is the seed of forgiveness.
A great meditation is to imagine there's an empty area in your heart, a cleaned-out window sill or a corner of the floor, where you can grow forgiveness. See a small pot full of healthy soil, and plant the seed of understanding; that is, plant the knowledge that they were only trying to get ahead, and stepped on your toes doing so.
Fertilize this little seed with your caring. Your sensitivity will take care of this little seed until it becomes a plant. Then water that plant with the tears that come from the hurt within you. Every time you think about the hurt, visualize the forgiveness plant being watered. Come back to it every day to see how it grows.
Eventually, when you see the forgiveness plant, it will give you the message that will help heal the hurt. If it is wilting from lack of light, then bring the hurtful issue "into the light." Talk to someone about it. If the forgiveness plant is growing like crazy and taking over the space, it's time to stop watering (crying over it) and take it outside for all to see. That means to make your forgiveness public. If you find you have no more tears to water it with, plant it outdoors so that you no longer have to care for it. And that means to let the whole issue go to the greater Universe.
Forgiving is magick for pagans in that we can release tied-up, wasted, negative energy and turn it into something truly positive for ourselves and for others. Don't let the opportunity to use forgiveness energy go to waste. The next time you have an opportunity to forgive, recover that energy and be forgiving.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Time Can Be Managed
My buddy Fred the Evil Carpenter is now Fred the Evil Ex-Patriot. He's leaving for Switzerland on Friday, getting hitched to some woman he went to school with years ago. So we took him out to dinner tonight at Jerusalem Cafe to say goodbye. I'm not real big on mediterranian food, hell, I can't even spell it, but the lamb was done right, so I'm happy.
What was funny was that the restaurant was two doors down from the location where Fred used to be the Evil Baker. He's known the owner of the cafe for 10 years, so it was like going into a restaurant where everyone knows your companion. We were even introduced to the new members of the restaurant family.
It struck me as strange, going down into the heart of Vancouver at night, that I've not had a reason to do that in about 10 years. Some things have radically changed since we used to deliver cookies and bagels at dawn. New buildings on some corners, old buildings redone. The Arnada Cafe closed. The bus mall closed, and a new fountain put up.
"Time is weird," I say
"You gotta be here now," he says.
"Sometimes, your brain goes there then."
"The 'then' is always laying there underneath the now."
What was funny was that the restaurant was two doors down from the location where Fred used to be the Evil Baker. He's known the owner of the cafe for 10 years, so it was like going into a restaurant where everyone knows your companion. We were even introduced to the new members of the restaurant family.
It struck me as strange, going down into the heart of Vancouver at night, that I've not had a reason to do that in about 10 years. Some things have radically changed since we used to deliver cookies and bagels at dawn. New buildings on some corners, old buildings redone. The Arnada Cafe closed. The bus mall closed, and a new fountain put up.
"Time is weird," I say
"You gotta be here now," he says.
"Sometimes, your brain goes there then."
"The 'then' is always laying there underneath the now."
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Processing information about information processing*
This week's lesson in my online course is about how neurons work and how brains develop. This is kinda old hat for me, as I've had my nose in neuropsych since before I went back to college. I pushed myself into the most advanced neuropsych classes I could get as an undergrad. This lesson seems like kindergarten to me now, but it coincided nicely with what my students are up to.
One student is working on integrating the workings of the Naked Flame with the mundane path of life. This takes some consideration of why we hold sharply to habitual ideas, even in the face of contradictory facts. If your Naked Flame says "go play with snakes," and you have a fear of snakes, you must reconfigure the neural network in your brain that links snakes and fear. And you're the only one who can do it. If you don't, the Naked Flame is going to make sure you are surrounded by snakes.
One student is working on how to help others in that reconfiguration process. In the mundane world, the world that scoffs at energy theory, that reconfiguration takes months of work that usually culminate in a momentary major epiphany that then marks that point in time when the neural network is permanently changed. Tantra, on the other hand, simply raises a person's vibration; this alone is enough to shake that neural pattern free from it's foundations. Typically, that epiphany moment is right after the energy peaks. This takes less knowledge about classic psychological theories and more knowledge about vibration raising.
One student is dreaming about chakra patterns and how to recognize when one is fucked up. A fucked up chakra pattern represents a problematic neural network, one that is caught in a single 'rut,' unable to move energy through it. To fix the energy of the body fixes the energy of that fucked up network, allowing the Flame to manifest through the body as it was designed to do.
One student is figuring out that her brain has been concentrating on negative aspects of what she doesn't want in a partner. This is broadcasting these traits into her universe and manifesting bad fitting partners.
To change what energy she is putting out means that she is also changing the neural network associated with her desires.
I hope you all are able to do what your Naked Flame wants you to do, and not what your ego thinks is best. To fix your chakras is to fix your brain. Nobody can do it for you; we can't use a screwdriver to open yor head and rewire you.
This is an inside job.
One student is working on integrating the workings of the Naked Flame with the mundane path of life. This takes some consideration of why we hold sharply to habitual ideas, even in the face of contradictory facts. If your Naked Flame says "go play with snakes," and you have a fear of snakes, you must reconfigure the neural network in your brain that links snakes and fear. And you're the only one who can do it. If you don't, the Naked Flame is going to make sure you are surrounded by snakes.
One student is working on how to help others in that reconfiguration process. In the mundane world, the world that scoffs at energy theory, that reconfiguration takes months of work that usually culminate in a momentary major epiphany that then marks that point in time when the neural network is permanently changed. Tantra, on the other hand, simply raises a person's vibration; this alone is enough to shake that neural pattern free from it's foundations. Typically, that epiphany moment is right after the energy peaks. This takes less knowledge about classic psychological theories and more knowledge about vibration raising.
One student is dreaming about chakra patterns and how to recognize when one is fucked up. A fucked up chakra pattern represents a problematic neural network, one that is caught in a single 'rut,' unable to move energy through it. To fix the energy of the body fixes the energy of that fucked up network, allowing the Flame to manifest through the body as it was designed to do.
One student is figuring out that her brain has been concentrating on negative aspects of what she doesn't want in a partner. This is broadcasting these traits into her universe and manifesting bad fitting partners.
To change what energy she is putting out means that she is also changing the neural network associated with her desires.
I hope you all are able to do what your Naked Flame wants you to do, and not what your ego thinks is best. To fix your chakras is to fix your brain. Nobody can do it for you; we can't use a screwdriver to open yor head and rewire you.
This is an inside job.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tantric homophobia? Say it ain't so...
I received an invite in my inbox from a group who needed more females to show up at their "Tantric Puja" event. I laughed and deleted it, thinking "sorry, won't participate in your homophobia..." But it got me to thinking...Why are so many so-called Tantrics taking issue with same-sex couples practicing and/or showing up at their events? I boycott anything that is "gender balanced," as that tells me right off the bat that same-sex couples are not invited...i.e. discriminated against.
But Sienna, you say, you're married to a GUY. Doesn't that make you heterosexual? Why would discrimination that doesn't affect you even bother you?
First off, I'm not het. I'm bi. AMAF, I'm probably the most comfortable bisexual individual you will ever meet. Second, many times, I'd rather go out with a woman than a guy. My husband doesn't enjoy a lot of the same things I do, and my girlfriends do. I certainly can't take a girl to a gender-balanced event, now can I? Third, many many many of my friends are not straight. These are people I love and care deeply about. I actually am rather bored by straight relationships...(yeah, even my own sometimes!)
In my experience, gays who are not in the closet are the coolest folks on earth. They don't give a shit about stigmas anymore. They have learned to think outside the box, and they laugh in the face of fear. It's not any easier being gay than it is being black...even if it is easier to pass...but seriously, discriminate against a gay person and you're discriminating against me too.
Tantra shows us that we are all the same Energy underneath it all. Anyone who practices Tantra understands that the package on the outside includes gender, but the inner self does not. Therefore, gender is irrelevant to a Tantric practitioner. SO WHY THE FUCK DO THEY NEED GENDER BALANCE???
Yeah, that's a rhetorical question. I know that they are freaked out and would prefer to discriminate rather than face their own fears. I know that deep down they have never examined their own gender preferences, otherwise they would know that there is nothing to fear in letting same-sex couples participate in group activities. I know that they create meditations and rituals for two people to share, and their choreography gets all fucked up if they aren't gender biased (rewrite the fucking choreography, dumbass...) These are lame fuckedup reasons to discriminate.
I don't care what gender you are, what gender you love, what gender you would like to be. I don't care if you fuck, suck, or play with toys to achieve your personal orgasms. I don't really give a rat's ass what happens between you and any other consenting adult in the privacy of your bedroom. I don't mind seeing Public Displays of Affection between any two humans, as long as it don't get too messy...
And this is why I'm encouraging same-sex couples at the American Tantra party. If you know of any non-straight human being who has the misguided understanding that Tantra is for Heteros only...please have them email me. I'll set 'em straight...HA HA HA HA! (yeah, I crack me up...)
Current Mood: amused
But Sienna, you say, you're married to a GUY. Doesn't that make you heterosexual? Why would discrimination that doesn't affect you even bother you?
First off, I'm not het. I'm bi. AMAF, I'm probably the most comfortable bisexual individual you will ever meet. Second, many times, I'd rather go out with a woman than a guy. My husband doesn't enjoy a lot of the same things I do, and my girlfriends do. I certainly can't take a girl to a gender-balanced event, now can I? Third, many many many of my friends are not straight. These are people I love and care deeply about. I actually am rather bored by straight relationships...(yeah, even my own sometimes!)
In my experience, gays who are not in the closet are the coolest folks on earth. They don't give a shit about stigmas anymore. They have learned to think outside the box, and they laugh in the face of fear. It's not any easier being gay than it is being black...even if it is easier to pass...but seriously, discriminate against a gay person and you're discriminating against me too.
Tantra shows us that we are all the same Energy underneath it all. Anyone who practices Tantra understands that the package on the outside includes gender, but the inner self does not. Therefore, gender is irrelevant to a Tantric practitioner. SO WHY THE FUCK DO THEY NEED GENDER BALANCE???
Yeah, that's a rhetorical question. I know that they are freaked out and would prefer to discriminate rather than face their own fears. I know that deep down they have never examined their own gender preferences, otherwise they would know that there is nothing to fear in letting same-sex couples participate in group activities. I know that they create meditations and rituals for two people to share, and their choreography gets all fucked up if they aren't gender biased (rewrite the fucking choreography, dumbass...) These are lame fuckedup reasons to discriminate.
I don't care what gender you are, what gender you love, what gender you would like to be. I don't care if you fuck, suck, or play with toys to achieve your personal orgasms. I don't really give a rat's ass what happens between you and any other consenting adult in the privacy of your bedroom. I don't mind seeing Public Displays of Affection between any two humans, as long as it don't get too messy...
And this is why I'm encouraging same-sex couples at the American Tantra party. If you know of any non-straight human being who has the misguided understanding that Tantra is for Heteros only...please have them email me. I'll set 'em straight...HA HA HA HA! (yeah, I crack me up...)
Current Mood: amused
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Exposure*
Exposure;
–noun
1. the act of exposing.
2. the fact or state of being exposed.
3. disclosure, as of something private or secret: the exposure of their invasion plans.
4. an act or instance of revealing or unmasking, as an impostor, crime, or fraud:
5. presentation to view, esp. in an open or public manner.
6. a laying open or subjecting to the action or influence of something.
7. the condition of being exposed without protection.
9. situation with regard to sunlight or wind.
10. a putting out or deserting, esp. of a child, without shelter or protection; abandonment.
11. something exposed, as to view.
12. public appearance, esp. on the mass media.
13. a prominent, often overextended position or commitment, that is considered precarious and risky.
Exposure in Tantra means to open up your energies to what is in your environment, no matter what that is. Exposure via all 7 chakras.
Think about what it feels like to be naked. In front of someone. Someone you don't know well, maybe lots of someones. Think about what it would be like to allow them to touch you, poke you, tickle you. Think about the fear of scrutiny, the fear of judgment, the fear of not measuring up to some standard. Think about the fear of offending someone, or turning someone on, inadvertently. There's a certainty that someone will learn something about you that you didn't want made known...
This is Exposure. This is what it feels like to walk in with your shields down, walk in with your chakras functioning, to be subjected to every bit of energy in your environment, including the icky stuff. This is Exposure, and it is necessary. 100% Exposure is 100% necessary to connect with a partner 100%. So if you can't do it on demand, you can't really claim to be able to do it.
Otherwise...go home and play with the sex magickians, but you won't be doin' Tantra.
–noun
1. the act of exposing.
2. the fact or state of being exposed.
3. disclosure, as of something private or secret: the exposure of their invasion plans.
4. an act or instance of revealing or unmasking, as an impostor, crime, or fraud:
5. presentation to view, esp. in an open or public manner.
6. a laying open or subjecting to the action or influence of something.
7. the condition of being exposed without protection.
9. situation with regard to sunlight or wind.
10. a putting out or deserting, esp. of a child, without shelter or protection; abandonment.
11. something exposed, as to view.
12. public appearance, esp. on the mass media.
13. a prominent, often overextended position or commitment, that is considered precarious and risky.
Exposure in Tantra means to open up your energies to what is in your environment, no matter what that is. Exposure via all 7 chakras.
Think about what it feels like to be naked. In front of someone. Someone you don't know well, maybe lots of someones. Think about what it would be like to allow them to touch you, poke you, tickle you. Think about the fear of scrutiny, the fear of judgment, the fear of not measuring up to some standard. Think about the fear of offending someone, or turning someone on, inadvertently. There's a certainty that someone will learn something about you that you didn't want made known...
This is Exposure. This is what it feels like to walk in with your shields down, walk in with your chakras functioning, to be subjected to every bit of energy in your environment, including the icky stuff. This is Exposure, and it is necessary. 100% Exposure is 100% necessary to connect with a partner 100%. So if you can't do it on demand, you can't really claim to be able to do it.
Otherwise...go home and play with the sex magickians, but you won't be doin' Tantra.
Friday, September 18, 2009
AMERICAN TANTRA: A Modern Party for Sacred Sex!
EXPLORE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A SEXY AMERICAN!
AMERICAN TANTRA:
A MODERN PARTY FOR SACRED SEX
Picture yourself at a chakra-centered fetish party...not only BDSM, but food-play, body art, a dress-up wardrobe, cuddle space, plaster casting, and whatever else might come around. Now, see yourself using this venue for spiritual growth and self-exploration. We’ve put it all together and are offering it to YOU this fall!
At Doc’s 82nd Club--SE 82nd & Holgate Portland
$13 per person at the door.
21 and over only!
Must RSVP to Attend!
Contact Sienna
sienna@spiralrhythms.org or 360.693.7349
AMERICAN TANTRA:
A MODERN PARTY FOR SACRED SEX
Picture yourself at a chakra-centered fetish party...not only BDSM, but food-play, body art, a dress-up wardrobe, cuddle space, plaster casting, and whatever else might come around. Now, see yourself using this venue for spiritual growth and self-exploration. We’ve put it all together and are offering it to YOU this fall!
At Doc’s 82nd Club--SE 82nd & Holgate Portland
$13 per person at the door.
21 and over only!
Must RSVP to Attend!
Contact Sienna
sienna@spiralrhythms.org or 360.693.7349
Libido
A man with a high libido who finds many chances to have sex is praised by other men (and society) as being something special.
A woman with a high libido who finds many chances to have sex is shunned by other women (and society) as being a slut, a whore, and having some sort of problem.
When one is born into a body, one does not have the choice of what level the libido develops into. One does not have the choice to turn that shit off. One does not have the choice of whether to be attractive or unattractive (although an argument could be made for body modifications). However, all of this combines into a charector judgment by society on the person who craves and/or accomplishes a high amount of sex.
If someone has a large appetite for food, and he/she eats as much as they want, they will have physical side effects. Same goes for adreneline junkies, people who need constant companionship, and, of course, sex. If you get too much of what you crave the most, you will pay consequences through your body. These physical side effects--from weight gain to injury and diseases--are designed to be the buffer of "too much."
Physical side effects of too much sex include (but are not limited to): unwanted pregnancies, STD's, pH imbalances, and routine soreness, overactivity muscle soreness, etc. Not to mention the emotional drama that revolves around sex. Why does society add insult to injury by villifying these people? What makes it so bad to have a high sex drive and get laid a lot?
But you hear people talking about it..."I dumped her because all she wanted to do was fuck everyone." "He's a player, and you're just a toy." The old joke about a slut being the girl who fucks everyone and a bitch being the girl who fucks everyone but *you* is not really that far off the mark. The problem here is that we are born with natural drives that we then are bashed into learning to control to OTHER PEOPLE'S standards.
If I tried to keep my food intake to the same level as what others put on their plate, I'd weigh 400 lbs. But my metabolism is slower, so I can't eat like they do. Sure, I miss out on some chocolate cake from time to time, but that's my body. And if I tried to keep my sex appetite to what society thinks I should have, I'd starve. My body wants and craves and is capable of getting that need met. Why should I try to make myself like them? They'd have much more fun being like ME!
A woman with a high libido who finds many chances to have sex is shunned by other women (and society) as being a slut, a whore, and having some sort of problem.
When one is born into a body, one does not have the choice of what level the libido develops into. One does not have the choice to turn that shit off. One does not have the choice of whether to be attractive or unattractive (although an argument could be made for body modifications). However, all of this combines into a charector judgment by society on the person who craves and/or accomplishes a high amount of sex.
If someone has a large appetite for food, and he/she eats as much as they want, they will have physical side effects. Same goes for adreneline junkies, people who need constant companionship, and, of course, sex. If you get too much of what you crave the most, you will pay consequences through your body. These physical side effects--from weight gain to injury and diseases--are designed to be the buffer of "too much."
Physical side effects of too much sex include (but are not limited to): unwanted pregnancies, STD's, pH imbalances, and routine soreness, overactivity muscle soreness, etc. Not to mention the emotional drama that revolves around sex. Why does society add insult to injury by villifying these people? What makes it so bad to have a high sex drive and get laid a lot?
But you hear people talking about it..."I dumped her because all she wanted to do was fuck everyone." "He's a player, and you're just a toy." The old joke about a slut being the girl who fucks everyone and a bitch being the girl who fucks everyone but *you* is not really that far off the mark. The problem here is that we are born with natural drives that we then are bashed into learning to control to OTHER PEOPLE'S standards.
If I tried to keep my food intake to the same level as what others put on their plate, I'd weigh 400 lbs. But my metabolism is slower, so I can't eat like they do. Sure, I miss out on some chocolate cake from time to time, but that's my body. And if I tried to keep my sex appetite to what society thinks I should have, I'd starve. My body wants and craves and is capable of getting that need met. Why should I try to make myself like them? They'd have much more fun being like ME!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
American Tantra BookSigning 8/29/09
Meet Sienna Newcastle the author of the groundbreaking new book American Tantra, that blends spirituality and sexuality in with an Ancient Art and a modern twist. Get your autographed copy and discover your own Inner Tantric Energies!
Sunday, August 29th from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.
Celestial Awakening's Grand Re-opening Celebration
6610 NE Hwy 99
Vancouver, WA 98665
Find us in their new location in the Hazel Dell neighborhood
Sunday, August 29th from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.
Celestial Awakening's Grand Re-opening Celebration
6610 NE Hwy 99
Vancouver, WA 98665
Find us in their new location in the Hazel Dell neighborhood
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